A guide to what instructing solicitors are really telling barristers.
1. “Counsel is instructed to advise generally” — We would like the benefit of Counsel’s insurance policy
2. “Counsel is instructed to use her best endeavours"— We know it’s a crap case as well
3. “Counsel is instructed to vigorously resist the application”— Despite the fact that it’s utterly hopeless to do so
4. “The facts in this case are apparent from the statements”— The client might know what he means but we have no idea what he’s on about
5. "The facts in this case are apparent from the documents enclosed"— Neither the client nor we know what’s going on, but we hoped you might
6. “It is the client’s firm belief that...”— The client is completely obsessed and may stalk us both
7. "The client specifically instructs us that”— The client is a congenital liar
8. “Counsel will find herewith solicitors' entire file of papers”— We are wholly unable to ascertain what may or may not be relevant, so you do it instead
9. “We believe this matter is capable of settlement”— We have no case whatsoever
10. “The other side are most aggressive”— The other side have also figured out we have no case
11. “In the light of the most recent information, Counsel is asked to re-consider his previous Advice”— The client went ballistic when he saw your advice and now has a note from his mum saying he’s right and the other side are very naughty boys
12. “The facts in this matter are somewhat complex”— The client keeps changing his instructions
13. "It may be helpful for Counsel to see the client in conference to advise as to the current state of the evidence"— The client is a psychopath who won’t take it from us that his claim is hopeless
14. “The client’s evidence is set out in the draft statement enclosed”— Until you tell us it isn’t good enough, in which case the evidence will change as required
15. “We enclose the Advice from previous Counsel”— The client is looking for someone to blame
16. “We enclose the file of papers from previous solicitors”— The client has found someone to blame
17. "The clients comments on the Defence are enclosed"— The Client has scrawled “Bollocks! Bollocks! Bollocks!” on the Defence
18. "The Client has a number of witnesses"— The client has a large extended family
19.“Your Instructing solicitor considers that the case of Donoghue v Stevenson may be relevant”— Your solicitor has recently been on a course to get some CPD points
20. “The other side have referred to the following case...”— Why didn’t you mention this case in your Advice?
21. "If counsel requires anything further she is requested to telephone her instructing solicitors on..."— But don’t expect anything other than general observations about the weather